


Unthreaded, Unchecked, Uncultured

by Varynova



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Broken Bones, F/F, Meteorstuck, Not Canon Compliant, Punching Vriska Serket In The Face, Trans John Egbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 13:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20408899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varynova/pseuds/Varynova
Summary: Rose Lalonde has been focused on her writing, as usual.  But on the meteor, who knows what's lurking in darkened corridors and around blind corners?  Maybe Rose just hasn't figured out this 'troll romance' thing yet.





	Unthreaded, Unchecked, Uncultured

Arms cross around your midriff, a bearhug so immediate and strong it threatens to crush the breath from you. You feel your stomach fold with the unseen assailant's grapple, and in the instant before you can react your legs flail upward, uselessly writhing a kick into empty air. Your head snaps down, trying to look at who's grabbed you, to gather data. _Gray arms, stiff, boxy muscles, black nail polish: could be any of them. It can't seriously be an attempt on your life? Here, in person? I guess you need to treat it like--_

_Think, Rose-- no, don't think! React, move._

_Like you were taught._

The inch-and-a-half of heel on your sandal stabs into one of the red-Keds-clad feet below you, and you instantly feel the grip around you shudder in pain.

_Pain, good. Keep holding on, fucker! There's more pain--_

You rear your head forward, momentarily mourning your perfect coiffure as you bring your skull back against your assailant's nose. _\--to come._ Around your head, droplets of blue spray like sprinkled sapphires, barely refracting the oblique, ambient light that bathes the 'exterior' platforms of this meteor in a low, pulsing haze. The plastic clatter of dislodged glasses skids off to your far right, and disappears, likely into the gasping void below.

_Troll. Glasses. That narrows down the likely candidates. Red shoes..._ Your head swims, maybe from pure adrenaline, perhaps from the fact that you should have seen this coming, or maybe the impact you just took to the head. You pinch your eyes shut, try to focus on crowding out the pain, hunkering yourself down into some approximate fighting stance, even if that was never the focus of your self-defense training with Terezi.

_Stop, focus. Hit them. HIT THEM. One hand in front of the other, broad footing, draw yourself down, low center of gravity. Don't think about the pain, just focus on--_

Your unpracticed fist curves directly into her prebroken nose with a sickening crunch, feedback shockwave of physical force radiating up your arm in stiff stinging jags, rippling, twisting. You can barely process it through the sudden tears blurring your vision, but your whole hand is irate red skin coiling around blushing blue right at the point where your knuckles impacted forehead. _You buried your thumb in your fist, fuck._ The whole side of your hand hurts, carpal bone ringing with an ache sure to turn into a blooming bruise. But she got it worse, now thrown backwards into a splay of bent legs and arms barely keeping her off the floor. You look up, and into the eyes of...

Vriska? This makes no fucking sense. Why is she attacking you?

She's looking surprisingly bad, actually. You definitely smashed her nose, either with your scalp or your hands, and it's clearly bent heavily to one side. You clutch your hand, now smarting with the stinging knowledge that you probably broke at least one bone in your thumb. _Still, she got it worse, and you might have to--_

VRISKA: Fuckin' gr8! Good jo8, Lalonde!

_Effusiveness?_ Confusion ripples through you like writhing centipedes under the skin. She's not moving, now, not scrambling to rise up, return your blow. You reach down with your capable hand, balling around the collar of her unbuttoned gray overshirt. You haul her up, maybe not to her feet-- when she's standing up, she has four good inches on you, almost five-- but at least onto her knees, watching her hands steady her trajectory from the floor as she comes to bear again. You try to release your jaw; you were biting your lip so hard you're pretty sure you drew blood. At the very least, you did during that headbutt, and you can feel it trickle on your chin.

ROSE: Why the FUCK would you do that!?  
ROSE: What the FUCK was THAT?

You can practically feel the tension in your neck strain against the hem of your robe, orange fabric mingling with spatters of Vriska's cerulean blood. You choke it down, folding your brow, wrestling with the rage inside of you trying to scream blood and spittle against Vriska's smiling face. Instead, you screw up your nose, ready your arm for another blow.

ROSE: I should hit you again-- I should, I should fucking--  
VRISKA: Now, now, Rose! You're in no position to start swingin' again, not with a thum8 like that.  
VRISKA: You need to work on your punching form. ::::)  
ROSE: Do not.  
ROSE: Ever.  
ROSE: Sneak up on me again.

Your voice is strangely quiet, now, breath finally gathering in your chest enough to gift back control of your volume, your careful tone. You sniffle a sharp intake, willing yourself to your most fearsome despite a five-foot-four stature. To underpin your message, you draw one of the Quills, crackling with vaporizing majjyks, and bring it in front of your face, like a foil _en prêts_.

ROSE: Ever.

You relax your grip, and Vriska slumps seated again, but shrugs, seemingly disinterested in your threat.

VRISKA: I figured you'd want to see how well your training was paying off. And I'm impressed!  
VRISKA: I didn't take Terezi's tutelage for the sort of thing you'd 8e a8le to throw at me so quickly, and here you are, using your shoes and your head and everything.

You draw your broken thumb across your lip, clearing a thin streak of red among the worn-off pinkish lipstick. You look at it, and realize when you gaze back up that you probably look betrayed, a woman crossed. _Nice, neutral expression. Don't let her throw you off for whatever she's planning._

ROSE: Why. Did. You.  
ROSE: Attack. Me.  
VRISKA: Can't a friend just check another friend's reflexes? 8888)

Her tone is almost disarming, sunny. It's not enough to get you to forget what she just did, but it's almost... kittenish? Like she's trying to be cute. Not that you're particularly interested at the moment. You draw her up to your face, let your hot breath encompass her bleeding nostrils and the grim grin at her blue lips.

You're about to growl something menacing-- about not enjoying being fucked with, or seeing right through her little game, or not being impressed with what you've seen-- y'know, good villain shit. But at that moment, the Transportalizer onto your little platform flashes, and a confused-looking June steps off, followed by another flash, and your girlfriend. Kanaya dusts herself off, and you surprise yourself with how quickly you push Vriska out of your embrace-- your grip, you mean. Nothing _prurient_ was happening, though, surely.

JUNE: whoa!!  
JUNE: what the HECK is going on here???  
ROSE: She-- she attacked, she jumped me--  
JUNE: we've been looking all over for you!  
KANAYA: Goodness Vriska  
KANAYA: But Youre Looking Quite The Mess  
VRISKA: Easy for you to say!  
VRISKA: I just got 8eat up.  
ROSE: (But--)  
KANAYA: Such Is Evident  
KANAYA: And Stop Flirting With My Girlfriend  
VRISKA: I'll flirt with whoever I want, fussyfangs!!!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I love the image of Rose fencing foil: it's a gorgeous rule-bound art form, elegant french words and sweeping gestures holding at bay the sporting nature of it. I'm sure Mom would be worried sick, but we all know that would only attract Rose to practice it more.  
Am I a Swords Lesbian? Absolutely.  
Am I right that she did? Well, you decide.
> 
> Just a quick drabble based on a prompt to figure out the likely dynamics of VrisRose, and deciding I liked the image of Rose punching her in the face. Besides, it IS the best way to get her attention... just ask Kanaya and June.


End file.
